Road Bone’s Rampage: The Final Statistics

Back to doing some data analysis, I added things up and found out I rode just about 3,700 miles. That sounds like a lot, but what does it mean? Doing some Google Maps, San Diego to Portland, Maine is ~3,100 miles, Seattle to Miami is ~3,300, and Anchorage, Alaska to San Diego is ~3,100 miles. So the take-away is: Road Bone’s a bad ass.

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Road Bone’s #1. Victory in Hanoi. I asked the guy at the hostel to take my photo.

Summary:
Distance: 3,690 miles
Days Cycling: 45
Avg Distance: 82 miles per day
Time Cycling: 278.6 hours
Avg Speed: 13.25 mph
100-Mile Days: 9
120-Mile Days: 4
Fastest Avg Speed: 17 mph
Longest Distance: 122.4 miles
Longest Time: 10:12 hours (6 AM to 6 PM with a few breaks)

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During my final 5 days, I cycled 533 miles from Luang Prabang, Laos to Hanoi, Vietnam. After cycling for two months, my body was prepared for this self-imposed 5-day gauntlet through craggy mountains on unpaved road. I’m proud of the 3,700 miles I cycled, but I’m especially proud of my cycling accomplishments in the mountains of Northern Laos, turning two-day distances into one. Road Bone, the magician, making the impossible possible by simply turning the pedals.

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A note I forgot to share: People loved it when I rode cocky. Many times I would ride with no hands. It was to relieve the pressure on my hands, and it was also nice to sit up on the bike instead of being hunched over on the handlebars. The response I would get from this was great. The hellos and the smiles were much bigger. And when it was late in the day, and the sun was fading, I’d take off my shirt. Shirtless and riding high with no hands was the ultimate in cockiness, and the ladies loved it the most. Typically, the ladies who rode by on their motor scooters were conservative, but when my shirt came off, I got some big waves, and I broke a lot of hearts.

Let the Rough Rider Roll … Back to Vietnam

The road from Muang Khua in Laos to the Vietnam border was a rough one. Unpaved and mountainous. I was really considering taking a bus as I’d heard about the bad conditions on this route — I was scared. But I did it because I’m a Rough Rider. I’m Road Bone.


Let’s not build a bridge. A boat ferry will be okay.


What’s your anti-drug in Laos?


On the highway, I had to take off my shoes to wade through the water.


Dirt highway with rock sprinkles.


Another river running through the highway. It’s cool that they thought of building a bridge.


I came from down there. It’s good to be on top.

Scenes from the Road in Northern Laos


Dusty and sad from my broken-road ride from Vientiane to Vang Vieng.


The limestone mountains appeared around Vang Vieng.


The cobblestone dirt road was a nightmare.


Wearing a piece of Cambodia under my helmet to look cool, and to keep the sun off.


On the road very early in the morning.


Young babysitter


Chinese touring cyclists posing like they’re having a great time.


Descending to Oudamxai with the sun setting.

Muang Mai: Small Town in Laos

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After 80 miles on unpaved road through mountains in Northern Laos and crossing a couple of rivers without bridges (by taking off my shoes and caulking the wagon), I stopped in a dusty town that had a guesthouse. After dumping bucket water over myself to clean up, I walked around town to soak up the culture. But there really wasn’t much to see.

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Sitting in the one restaurant in town, I had a beer and watched people in the river doing their laundry and bathing (below photo). The river was part of the highway to the Vietnam border. Cars and trucks passed through the water as people were washing themselves and their motorscooters.

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When it got dark, there was no light. And there was no electricity. By candlelight, I had fried rice for dinner. But it wasn’t romantic lighting, it was bad lighting. I couldn’t see. I stumbled back to my tiny guesthouse room, and went to sleep at 7:30 PM.

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Scenes from the Road in Southern Laos


I love this photo for some reason.


I caught up with this songthaew and drafted behind it for a while.


How do the watermelon sellers differentiate themselves from each other? They’re all selling the exact same watermelon.


The eldest girl kept asking me for a pen. I had a pen, but I had just bought it, so I didn’t want to give it to her. How cold-hearted am I? Get your own damn pen, girl.


Sight Seeing is a must-see.


I witnessed the fire in Pakse the night before. There’s no fire hydrants, and the fire truck ran out of water. It was kind of a let down.


Cycling gloves get incredibly dirty. Like an old kitchen sponge. And I wipe my mouth with them.


On the Bolaven Plateau, I got caught in the rain, so I had to wait it out on a tiny chair.


The road in Southern Laos. Where’s Road Bone?